Blue's Revenge!
by Commander
Summary: Blue hasn't been acting normal lately, and she tells the idiotic Steve what she's up to by using Blue's Clues!


The story starts with the Blue's Clues book lying in the pile of other books. The book opens and we see Steve's house, with Blue sitting on the windowsill. Steve sticks his head out of it, but we can't see him, since Blue is covering him.  
  
"Hi out there!" he cries. "It's me, Steve. Have you seen Blue, my puppy?"  
  
"She's right there!" the little kids cry, sounding a little annoyed.  
  
"Where?" asks Steve, spinning his head around. Then Blue bites him on the face.  
  
"OW! Oh, there you are, Blue!" says Steve. Blue jumps inside through the window. "Come on in!" says Steve, not seeming to remember that his dog bit him in the face. The camera slowly zooms in on the door until that's all we can see. Then it opens.  
  
"Hi!" says Steve, looking way too happy. "I'm so glad you're here. Blue's been acting strangely lately, and I was wondering if you could help me figure out why. Will you help me?"  
  
"NO!" scream the kids.  
  
"You will? Great!" Steve does that stupid walk of his over to the table. Blue is sitting by the table. She growls at Steve when he gets close to her.  
  
"Hi Blue! What is making you feel so angry?"  
  
Blue growls and points at Steve.  
  
"Well, if you don't want to tell me, then fine!" Steve thinks for a moment. It is obviously a very hard thing for him to do. "I know!" he finally says. "If you're in a bad mood, then we can do whatever you want to make you feel better! So Blue, what do you want to do?"  
  
Blue runs up to the camera and slams her paw against it. "Oh!" says Steve. "We'll play Blue's Clues to figure out what Blue wants to do to cheer her up. I love Blue's Clues!"  
  
"We bet you do, it's just at your low level!" cry the kids.  
  
"We are gonna play Blue's Clues, cause it's a really great game!" sings Steve, not seeming to have heard the kids. "Hey! In order to play Blue's Clues, we need our handy dandy…"  
  
"Brain!" yells a kid.  
  
"Huh?" says Steve. "I thought it was notebook."  
  
"Why do you have to write down the clues to remember them? I mean, we can remember them better than you and we don't even have notebooks! Oh, I figured it out! You're too stupid to remember a simple thing like a clue. So you need a notebook. So, you need your handy dandy notebook."  
  
"That's more like it!" says Steve happily, not realizing he's been insulted. "Let's go get it!"  
  
Side Table Drawer throws the notebook at Steve. "Keep your slimy hands off of me!" she cries. "Here it is, you imbecile!"  
  
"Thanks, Side Table Drawer! Now, to play Blue's Clues he have to find a…"  
  
"You STILL don't know!" yell the enraged kids.  
  
"Oh yeah! A paw print! Cause that's our first…"  
"Typewriter!" yell the kids.  
  
"Clue!" says Steve. "Then we put it in our notebook…" He sings the rest of the annoying song. "Okay, let's go!"  
  
Steve does his stupid walk and sings his little "We are looking for Blue's Clues" song. He walks into the kitchen. "Hi Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper and Paprika."  
  
Paprika throws a gun at Steve's head. "Go away, stupid human!" she cries. Steve picks up the gun. It has a blue paw print on it.  
  
"Look at this thing!" cries Steve. He points the gun to his head and is about to pull the trigger (not knowing what he is doing, of course), when the kids cry, "A clue!"  
  
Steve pulls the gun away from his face. "You have to go poop? The bathroom is over there-"  
  
"No, you nincompoop, a clue!"  
  
"A clue! Where?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know," a kid said. "Maybe right there ON THAT GUN YOU'RE HOLDING!"  
  
Steve looks around for about 20 seconds. "Oh!" he finally cries. "There's a glue on this thingamajig."  
  
"It's called a GUN, Steve!" yell the kids.  
  
"We need to write this in our handy dandy notebook!" cries Steve. So he did. "Now what do you think Blue could want to do with a gun?"  
  
"Blue wants to-"  
  
"Maybe, but I think we'd better find the other clues," Steve says, interrupting the kids.  
  
"You didn't let us finish!" scream the kids.  
  
Just then you can hear the "Mail Time" calls. "The mail's here!" yells Steve. He runs into the living room and sings the annoying song. Then he sits in the chair.  
  
Mailbox zooms in, yells, "HERE'S YOUR LETTER YOU MORON!" and zooms back out.  
  
"We just got a letter!" says Steve. Then he starts to sing. "We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, I wonder who it's from?"  
  
He opens the letter. "Oh look, it's a letter from our friends!"  
  
But instead of children playing, the moving picture shows an older man in a suit. "Hi Steve, hi Blue," he says. "I am from the government. I am your tax collector. You are TWO YEARS behind in your taxes. If you don't pay them in the next 10 minutes, we will come to your house, arrest you, force you to do hard labor for two years to repay your debt, and then kill you." He pauses. "Bye."  
  
"Bye!" waves Steve like the moron he is. He closes the letter. "Now wasn't that a nice letter?"  
  
"I give up," a kid says. "I'm going home."  
  
Blue then runs up to Steve. "Hi Blue! How are you OUCH!" Blue smacks Steve in the face with her paw. Then she runs off.   
  
"A clue!" yell the (remaining) kids.  
  
"Yes, I know my I. Q. is 2," says Steve.  
  
"That's probably true, but what we said was A CLUE!"  
  
"Oh, you see a clue! Where?"  
  
"LOOK IN A MIRROR!"  
  
Steve runs to his bedroom and looks in his mirror. There is a paw print on his face. "Whoa, this is a weird mole. I didn't even know I had it."  
  
"IT'S A CLUE YOU MENTALLY CHALLENGED FREAK!"  
  
"Oh! A clue!" Steve finally processes the info in his empty skull. "I must be the second clue!" He writes it down in his notebook. "Now what could Blue want to do with a gun and me?"  
  
"She wants to-" start the kids.  
  
"Hmm! Good idea! But I think we'd better find our last clue."  
  
Just then Blue skadoos into a map. "Blue skadoo we can too!" yells Steve. He lands in a foreign country. "Hey, where am I?"  
  
The enraged kids yell, "YOU'RE IN AFGANISTAN, A COUNTRY THAT KILLS PEOPLE WHO AREN'T MUSLIM!"  
  
"Oh!" says Steve. "Thanks for telling me!" Just then a bunch of guys surround him.  
  
"Are you Muslim?" they ask.  
  
"Uh, no," says Steve. The guys jump and tackle him.   
  
"Well aren't these guys nice!" says Steve. Just then Blue pulls him out and skadoos into a picture of Antarctica.  
  
"Blue skadoo we can too!" says Steve. Then he is freezing in Antarctica. "Now where are we?"  
  
"ANTARCTICA, YOU BAFOON!"  
  
"Well, isn't that nice?" says Steve. He is turning into a popsicle. Then Blue grabs him and skadoos into a picture in a history book.  
  
"Blue skadoo we can too!" says Steve for the third time. "Where are we now?"  
  
"IN THE MIDDLE OF WORLD WAR II AND ADOLF HITLER IS STANDING BEHIND YOU!"  
  
"Oh!" says Steve. He turns around to face Hitler. "Hello!"  
  
Hitler says something in German. The subtitles show that he says, "This guy is too stupid to live. I'd better kill him."  
  
A Nazi comes up with a gun and shoots Steve. Then Blue skadoos back home. "Blue skadoo we can too!" says Steve. When he finally gets back home his side is bleeding. A paw print shows up on the blood.  
"A clue!" scream the kids.  
  
"Oh yeah? Well screw you too!" yells Steve.  
  
"NO, YOU IDIOT, A CLUE!"  
  
"Oh! There is a clue on my blood!" He somehow draws blood in his notebook. "Now we're ready for our thinking chair!"  
  
"Yeah, you're an idiot who can't even think without a chair!" the kids yell as Steve sits down.   
  
"Okay," Steve says, "we are trying to figure out what Blue wants to do. And our Blue's Clues are a gun, me, and blood. Now what could Blue want to do?"  
  
All the kids yell simultaneously, "Blue wants to take the gun and shoot you so that you bleed and die!"  
  
"Really?" says Steve.  
  
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! YES, REALLY!"  
  
"Well then, we just figured out Blue's Clues! We just figured out Blues Clues, because we're really smart!"  
  
"We are, but you aren't!" yell the kids.  
  
Steve runs up to Blue. "Blue, do you want to take the gun and shoot me so that I bleed and die?"  
  
Blue nods evilly, pulls out a gun, and aims it at Steve. Just as she's about to pull the trigger a guy yells, "Stop. I'm from the government."  
  
Blue and Steve turn around. Blue looks worried. Steve yells, "Hey look, it's our friend!"  
  
The tax collector looks at Blue. "Don't worry Blue, you won't get in trouble. I don't blame you for trying to kill him. But he needs to pay his debt." He turns to Steve. "You will be in federal prison for the next two years performing hard labor and then we'll kill you. Come with me. Blue, you are legally the owner of the house now." He leads Steve to a police car.  
  
"Hey wait!" cries Steve. "I need to say goodbye to my friends." He faces the camera. "Thank you so much for all your help today."  
  
"Steve, you are an idiot," the kids say.  
  
"Now it's time for so long," Steve sings as he is being led to the police car, "but we'll sing just one more song. Thanks for doing your part, you sure are smart-"  
  
"Anyone's smarter than you!"  
  
"You know with me and you, and the new owner of the house, Blue, we can do, anything, that we wanna do!" The police car drives away, and Steve yells, "Bye! See you later!"  
  
"Bye!" yell the kids. "And good riddance!"  



End file.
